What’s the unsettled feeling about in dating?

With hindsight being 20/20 & all, I’ve realized that pretty much my whole life, people have been unsafe for me.

I have always had a big, open heart.

In the past, I have trusted quickly.

Trusted big.

& opened up my sacred heart space to anyone that seemed like they were good people.

I never learned how to discern between who was good for me & who was bad for me. 

I never learned how to trust my instincts (because my instincts were rooted in the desperate call of connection).

I never learned how to align with my values - it’s taken me many years to actually find & trust my unique traits & values.

In dating, it was hard because different parts of me ran the show…

The chill part of me took what I was given & never asked for anything more.

The fortress part of me had fun flirting & making people love me, but when they came too close or liked me too much - I was out.

The goddess part of me couldn’t be bothered with anything less than perfection.

Here’s the thing I learned about these parts of me - they all served a big, glorious purpose.

They were formed in my being & my subconscious because of what I had experienced.

They were strong & ran my dating life because they had been running my regular life for so long.

What no one talks about is, if you are having dating struggles & keep seeing the same thoughts, patterns, & behaviors in dating, it’s not YOU that it is out their dating - it is just a wounded part of you that’s making you feel unsettled.

And girl, it is is NORMAL.

The course of action is to heal the wounded parts of you that are running the dating show.

Love up on those parts.

Show them that you can actually handle it.

Show them that you can pick the right people

Show them that you can protect your heart.

Healing gets to the root of why.

The how is choosing to heal in the first place.

In big love,

❤️Lilli

P.S. Take the Feminine Dating Archetype Quiz to reveal your blocks to love & find your true love match.