Why “letting go” doesn’t work
Too often, I hear experts & gurus advise, “just let it go” when it comes to overthinking & anxiety.
This applies to dating too - “just have fun,” “don’t have any expectations,” & “there are many fish in the sea.”
If it was that easy, you would have already done it.
You would already feel aligned in your dating life.
Your dating life would already be as “successful” as in other areas of your life.
You wouldn’t want to drop it like a hot potato LOL
What this approach misses is what’s really happening on the inside as you put yourself out there & as you go on dates.
Your Dating Nervous System is wired for connection when it’s healthy & responding accurately to internal & external cues.
When healthy, it can detect red flags immediately without overthinking or anxiety.
When wired unhealthily, (read more below) it responds in ways that don’t make sense.
Like, when you CANNOT stop obsessing over what to say, what to do, when to text him back, what “rule” to follow, etc.
Also, like when you just give up & decide if you don’t get close to anyone, you won’t get hurt.
This all makes sense given what you’ve been through & your deep desire to not make the same mistakes of the past.
Brand spankin’ new science has emerged that tells us that we can’t really control our internal experience with our mind - but that our body actually is the “central” hard drive for our lives.
The state of your Dating Nervous System will determine your thoughts, beliefs, & behaviors, not your mind.
So, what can you do?
You can CHOOSE to do the work on your own or go faster with a practitioner to rewire your Dating Nervous System.
This has a couple of great benefits:
It transforms your overthinking & anxiety caused by dating to savor in self-love allowing you to quickly sniff out red flags.
It allows you to see your dating partners for who they really are so that you either don’t get into ANOTHER bad situation or don’t close your heart at the drop of a hat.
It’s basically the opposite of “Let It Go” (cue Frozen) & more of a coming home.
When you feel safe in your body, you feel safe in your soul.
You feel safe in your mind.
And, you feel safe in the dating world - & instead of draining dating feels special, enlivening, & joyful.
Come home & find epic love.
In big love,
❤️Lilli
P.S. Do you want to connect more to the moment & enjoy dating? Take the Feminine Dating Archetype Quiz to reveal your blocks to love & find your true love match.
